"Well," Marco said, looking down at his helmet in his gauntleted hands from his position on the rooftop; wondering if he deserved it: this life, this job/occupation, this girl always by his side. He wondered if it was the right thing for him to be doing with his time and with his small existence in such a big world. So many opportunities he could do and wanted to do, but instead he was stuck with this life. Forever stuck in a repetitive cycle. "That happened." He added, looking up to see the giant monster they'd just killed lying dead over part of New York. Green postural blood was still pouring out of it's red body and drooling over the rubbled stumps of the rooftops that it'd crushed under it's massive frame and weight. He wished they could've dropped it in Time Square and maybe even dropped themselves in it, where there would've been no people to get hurt, but fate had other plans. A few trees weren't good enough for it's satisfactional craving needs for death.
"Yeah," Star said, sitting down to join him. She had her helmet tucked under her armpit and her wand in the other. "It did." And with a wave of her wand the giant Jaeger robot behind them that she'd created with magic disappeared, as did their metallic suits and helmets and their normal, casual, everyday clothing came back in a swift poof. They needed the thing to fight to the monster, but now the monster was dead so bye bye big ass pink, fully weaponised and ultimately badass, robot. "We did it." She croaked miserably as the firemen below tried to put several of the blazing fires out-casting their ember glows up at them-and the news reporters rushed to the scene and set up their equipment. Even a news helicopter was flying overhead; shining a light down on the presumably E.T entity. "We won," Star said. She acted as if it was a good thing, but it was far from it. "We killed it. Woo-hoo, world saved, right?" She was thankful that the people down there cared more about the monster and not the ones that'd destroyed it. She didn't need paparazzi right now. She didn't know what she needed.
"How many people?" Marco then asked. Ah, the pitiful heavy question. He couldn't stop staring down at the monster and the building and the fires...and the tiny, silhouetted, ants that we're human bodies...Dead human bodies. Some of those fear stricken faces stared up at him and he couldn't bring himself to look away and grief and cry. They, down there, would blame the two of them for this. How many families and relationships had they just crushed because of their reckless irresponsible actions.
Star whipped out her phone. There was an internet connection up here so she looked at the news. The story was only just being broadcasted and snippets of info had been released. "Over three million." She muttered before turning her phone off and putting it back in her pocket. She looked out over the city. More than this tiny area had been demolished from their brawl. It was too much destruction, death and desolation. She'd never seen this much before. "Because of us." She solemnly added. She looked down at her feet that were swaying back and forth over the edge of the roof. Maybe she should jump and end it all?
"It would've been a lot more if we did nothing." Marco said. He looked over at her to see the misery on her face.
"We made that thing, Marco!" She snapped, pointing down at the monster. "Well, I made it because I'm a stupid, idiotic girl that doesn't deserve this dumb, stupid thing." She added, throwing her wand. It skidded along the roof until it hit the edge of a water tanker. She honestly didn't care where it went as long as she never saw it again. Who would've guessed that little old Star Butterfly would've gone and done the unthinkable with a giant baby rattler that could cast spells. What would her mother think of her?...Off to St. Olga's reform school she went. If she was even still alive by then?
"But we stopped it. We made a weapon and we used it to stop it." He said. His pitiful attempt to cheer her up wasn't working. He was feeling the same things as her, but didn't show it as much. His priority now was to convince her that none of this was her fault (even though they both knew damn well that it was. She'd made the monster when a spell had gone the wrong way and had caused 3 million people to die tonight).
"And what were we doing before that?" She asked him. He could see tears forming at their bases of her eyes. He couldn't even begin to comprehend what she was feeling right now: the feeling of complete and utter failure and knowing you've just killed someone. A web of thought was etching it's way through her head and she thought of every individual strand. All of them were horrible and each was far worse than the last.
"We we're doing our best, Star." He answered confidently.
"OUR BEST?!" She screamed as she stood up. He feared she'd lose her balance and fall so he stood up too. "WAKE UP, MARCO! AND DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T BLAME ME!" She screamed at him, poking his chest in frustration.
"If you consider running around the streets, trying to help people from a giant freaking monster, but failing so badly, as our best then you're mind is thick, gelatinous putty!" She looked out over the city just in time to see a building in the distance explode and crumble away. "Even with the Jaeger we still hurt people, Marco."
"Star-" He tried again.
"Do you remember the coffee shop?" She asked him. He sighed, closed his eyes and nodded as the wind reached them and begun sashaying their hair away. Star's golden locks flowed, like a gently ocean wave or a bliss summer breeze. If only. "Do remember the kid?"
"Don't do this to yourself, Star."
"But do you?...Do you remember his face when you had tell him that his mother was dead while I disposed of her body? Her melted, burnt, horrifically mutilated body. So he didn't have to see it when you led him outside and handed him to his dad who took him away to their car and drove off. Do you remember? You think you had the easy part, but believe me. I can still feel it on my hands."
He didn't answer. He didn't even look at her.
"Well I do. And it's my fault. It's all my fault. I just killed three million people so easily. Hurray for me."
"I don't blame you. I should and you want me to, but I don't. I could never blame you for anything even if it was all your fault and you were caught red handed. But I don't blame you, Star. We both know that."
"Everyone else will."
"But no one else knows it was you. They think it was alien that came from space and some giant robot swooped in and stopped it.."
"Then I'll tell them. I'll even show them if I have to because I'd rather kill myself than live with that amount of guilt on my shoulders."
"I won't stop you."
"I never said you would."
Nothing was said after that. The two just stood there looking out over New York, like some sort of guardians, but the only thing they protected were the walls around them that stopped their depression crashing through. They both had to be as strong as they could for one another. No matter how hard it was.
"Can we go home?" He eventually asked her.
"Why? Do you not to see my big mess any longer?" She asked back, motioning with her arms to the ruins they'd left in their wake.
"It's just as much as your fault as it is mine. I should've kept a closer eye on you, but I didn't because I'm stubborn. I'm supposed to be your guardian not a bad influence...I just let you slip out my fingers...and now this happened." He did the same thing with his arms as she'd done. "So can we just please go home? Please?!"
"Okay." And with that, Star pulled out the scissors from her bag and started snipping away at the fabric of reality behind them until a portal back to Star's bedroom popped into existence. She then went over to retrieve her wand before holding Marco's hand tightly and the two stepped through; the portal closing behind them. Star prepared herself for Marco's parents before even thinking about her own. She dreaded every impatient second of it.And dreaded every face she could still remember.